Well what a relaxing evening I just had. We have started to make going to the park for an evening walk, a priority. It just feels good on all levels. It helps to digest our meals, gives our bodies and minds exercise, fresh air, beautiful scenery, friendly chats with passer byers, time to talk with family members, a few laughs at our very short puppy, and sooo much more. It is a fantastic way to reverse any negativity from the day.

So, I promised some information on what I do to reduce stress in my life. Some things may sound “square” to some, but they are things that I enjoy, and things that I can enjoy with my family.

There are many times throughout my illness that life has packed quite a few punches, and just lately, I have had more then I cared for. So one day, myself and my daughter were enjoying a little tech time together, on Pinterest, (I didn’t have a Facebook account at this time), I was looking up knitting patterns and she was looking up quotes and funny animal pictures. While I was looking up patterns, I saw many baby hat patterns and thought, hmm what a wonderful way to pass some time and give happiness. Seeing I love knitting, and my family has many knitted goods, I could start knitting soft baby hats for newborns at the hospital. It would occupy my mind in the evening time doing something I love, and it would be for beautiful little babies, just as a gesture of kindness, welcoming them to the world. So far, I have knit 5 hats, and am knitting more. Just today we went to our favorite craft store “Michaels” and picked up 3 more balls of baby wool (awwww) and in a few weeks I should have at least 20 done so that myself and my daughter can take them to the hospital. This act of kindness makes me feel good and brings a smile to my heart knowing my time is being spent towards a greater good. If that doesn’t bring down negative thoughts it’s just as well for me to pack it in I say…lol.

Acts of Charity I find are always great ways to bring positive happy feeling about. We enjoy picking up food for the food bank and food for pet charities and dropping it off at their depots. The food bank donations we are able to do at our grocery stores. It doesn’t take much and every little bit helps. My daughter loves putting the food drive bag in the drop off box or bringing the pet food or blankets to the shelters because then she can see the kittys or the puppys, its such a good feeling and seeing the huge smile on her face makes my heart smile too. Sometimes we focus on food other times we focus on baby supplies it just helps to stop thinking the world is only about us, and think of others instead. We never know when we will need to be on the receiving side so while I can do a small part, I think it is important to do so. Helping others giving to children’s lunch programs, reading programs, heart and stroke, cancer society and sooo many more will always bring a smile to my heart knowing that I care. One of my daughters favorite charities is the Shoe Box Charity around Christmas time and the Happy Tree where we can donate a gift to someone who may not be able to give their children what they would love to. We take money from our budgeted gifts to each other, and instead give it to another.

My Mother In Law always says “Charity begins at home,” helping a family member, charity within your community or church, schools, etc, doing something good brings good. You don’t have to make a crazy amount of money to be able to give, I would rather give a grocery item and have one less myself, knowing that I can help another, this is what helps me put my life in perspective.

I have had a few conversations with my daughter and friends about how it just seems like every one is in such a rush and not in a happy mood. So we have taken it upon ourselves to give complements to family, friends, and strangers about everything. For instance it could be a beautiful color shirt someone has on, you see it, know it is nice, but never say, “Wow what a lovely shirt.” You should say it!! It makes you feel good and brings a smile to the other person, making them feel nice that someone has noticed something they like. It could be their eyes, or their shoes, or their lovely smile, or sweet hair buckle, their smart answer…anything… anything that makes you notice someone (something positive) gently acknowledge it.

Whenever I leave a counter I always say “Have A Nice Day” or “Thank You For Your Help” or mention their lovely name that is on their name tag “Oh what a pretty name,” or “Oh what a strong name”… and mean it… I mean every nice thing I say, just trying to add a smile to the world one compliment at a time. I think that I get more happiness from this and I can feel the change in my day by being kind to others. We have NOOO idea what the other person may be going through in their own lives, and what a difference it can make when they go home and say what a nice lady I ran into today she made me feel good. Even if they don’t tell someone and they just remember and pass it on to the next person, then my job at decreasing the negativity in the world has just gotten an extra helping hand of kindness.

I don’t go out on the search for people to compliment, I just be in the moment I am in, at that time, and make the most of it, by trying to give another fellow person something to smile about. It’s sad when the world feels like no one cares anymore, and when I started to feel that way, I had to do something to change it. I enjoy reaching for items on higher shelves for our vertically challenged fellow humans, or holding the door for someone, or asking a person if they would like to get in the picture with their child or family, and I take the picture for them. Guys listen, we live on this one big ball together, and it will do our own bodies, minds, and health good to just try one simple act of kindness.

I enjoy doing anything with my daughter that I know brings her happiness, no matter how long I may have to sit and wait or watch movies over and over and over, the hug at the end that says “Thanks Mom”, is soooooooo worth it. Taking the time to just sit with her and have a cookie and listen to her day instead of thinking about my own day all the time, helps to put my day back on track.

I enjoy watching a funny movie, reading a book, having a relaxing bath, even if it only lasts 10 minutes, it’s 10 minutes of breathing in a nice soapy smell and cleaning off the worries. I enjoy coloring with my daughter or dressing the American Girls with her (she’s older now so that only happens for special occasions), doing crafts with her, shopping with her, or enjoying a physical activity like walking or swimming… anything.

Sometimes to clear the negative thoughts, I enjoy cleaning out a room, or a shelf, or the kitchen …etc. (My sister will be laughing at this part when she reads it). Even watering the plants or taking time to do a kind act for our family pets such as; making them a tasty treat, or cleaning out their cage or cushions, or combing their fur out, tidying their toys or taking the puppy on a walk. Taking care of pets or friends or family is a great way to forget your own troubles. Tidying the clutter from a room helps to breathe a little more, and helps to make that space more relaxing. Even just by starting with a drawer and de-clutter it, also helps to clear the mind, the room and the atmosphere, which will all help you emotionally and physically.

Stopping to have a cup of tea or a refreshing glass of fruit infused water. There is something relaxing about warm or fruit infused liquid. NOT SUGAR, sugar just adds to our “ON BUST” feeling, then we crash, and it starts all over again. It could just be the act of stopping and sitting for a few moments and replenishing the liquids our body’s need, that gives us energy, could be what reduces the stress. Either way, it is helpful, and if you can enjoy that beverage with a friend or family member, and have a little chat, well that’s even better.

Communication is sooo important to our emotional health. The healthy connections we make help us to grow positive. I’m not sure if I have said this here or not but, I have many conversations with my daughter, she is a growing girl, and I try to give advice, when she is ready to hear it. My main advice to her about communication is, we can’t control what another person says or how they react but we CAN control how we speak and control our own actions and by doing so, may be we can help the other person to respond in a way that both parties find more appealing… The only actions we can control are our own… Which at times can be really difficult but the more we do so the better we become in any conversation. All emotions and emotional conversations are important, but escalating things beyond control, brings negativity and hurt. By taking a moment to breath before we respond, can change the whole conversation or situation.

A funny story I’ll share with you is, she came home one day telling me about how her friends say they don’t hear her swear, and instead of that being a positive attribute, she was almost looked down upon for not cursing her face off. Then a few days later two kids were in a bit of a heated argument and she was among the small group, and because of a reaction of a friend, she ended up getting pushed and elbowed. She looked at the boy and said “You…you..you……..dingledork!!!!” With that the whole event twisted and the kids were laughing and saying, “What is a dingledork?” My daughter answered “you…you are a dingledork!” Then laughed and walked away. The whole situation changed just because she decided to control her reaction with a funny word instead of escalating the negativity and calling the kid a string of profanities. The kids ended up breaking up, and moving on to something else. I was proud of her. (Noo, I don’t think kids should all call each other dingledorks, but it was better then the words that were being shouted out in that very instance.)

I enjoy going to a happy place; my knitting corner, or favorite reading chair, outside on the deck, or sitting on the dock or in the boathouse if possible. But I think my most favorite thing to do when I am feeling angry or sad is to get or give an extra long hug and just wait in that hug for as long as I can. Hugs are awesome in reducing stress. My advice is to hug, hug, hug and hug some more. Hug your children, your spouses, significant other, pets, friends, pillows, teddy bears, trees… just hug something, and hug it tight… and breathe.

Drink water and get some rest. Sleep on it… is a good saying, because things in the morning always seem less chaotic. While on a family trip at a restaurant, I read a tattoo that was on our waitresses arm. This was 4 years ago now, but what a statement it made and what a change of thought it gave me. She had quoted a scripture…”This Too Shall Pass.” It made quite the impression on me. How true are those words, because tomorrow or next week, next month, next year our worries that had plagued us at that time, will have passed. It let me realize obviously something in her life had led her to realize too that, “This Too Shall Pass.” Time will help and heal, and as big as an issue may seem in the moment, it too shall pass. I guess sometimes a helpful quote, saying, scripture or funny joke can help clear the negative.

During a very tumultuous time in my life, I read about jingling bells through your living space, to open the windows, and ring the bells as loud as you can. I think it was something to do with feng shui. I found little bells my daughter had in a child’s band set and I rang the crap out of them…lol. It felt good. It was like what I couldn’t say in anger came out in the bells, and when the sound had settled the room was quiet again and a breeze blew through from the open windows, the rooms felt fresh again. Whether it was the oxygen getting in from the open window, or the action of ringing the bell so loudly that could have alerted the fire station 5 blocks away, I felt refreshed, like I had cleared out all the bad air and now something new and positive could begin again.

Its like hearing the sounds of chimes in the wind. Setting up a small set of chimes in a room by your window or outside on the front or back porch I find soothing. Every time a bell rings another angel gets their wings. Some may think its silly, but if it brings you joy give it a try.

When all else fails, you’ve tried doing things you love, hugged the tree outside till your neighbors started to worry, rang the crap out of your kids toy bells, talked the ear off a friend, petted your dog till she has no fur left, watched every episode of Threes Company or Friends, then find yourself some Valerian, Chamomile, or St. John’s Wart. I just couldn’t finish the blog without a Medicinal Holistic Remedy.

Chamomile will work the fastest especially in a tea, Valerian will give you a good nights rest and St. John’s wart will have to be taken for a period of time on a regular basis to help increase happy thoughts. Good Ol’ Vit B and Vit C are fantastic for quick pick me ups and Siberian Ginseng is a definite energy booster as well. Magnesium as mentioned previously, is a definite body and muscle relaxer, this is always a favorite of mine. The wonderful smell of lavender throughout the air helps to relax our minds and thoughts and can ease you into a peaceful sleep. Not to mention regular healthy eating habits, and staying hydrated with water, will help your body to deal with stress in a more productive manor.

These simple, safe, remedies, promote health and energy and an all around happy feeling so you will want to give many simple acts of kindness towards others. What comes around goes around. My daughter says you have learned everything you truly need to know when you finish kindergarten…be kind to others… and… if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

So I bid you all Sweet Dreams and Good Night… and by the way, you have a beautiful smile!