I watched a movie the other day called “Friends With Money.” I wasn’t feeling well and was pushing myself beyond what I should have been doing. So I stopped myself and made myself sit down. I turned on Netflix and this movie popped up so I figured “hmm, why not?” …What an eye opener.
I have been feeling a little down myself and my attitude has not been the best at times and I started to connect with the characters in the movie. These characters were becoming bitter with life and I could draw parallels with their attitudes and mine, of late. Everything had become annoying, daunting and just down right ridiculous. I could feel and see my attitude in “their” portrayal of their character’s lives. By the end of the movie, their character lives had been summed up, but mine went on, un-summed.
I could see how my attitude has looked at times and it was good to see, because like them it was not the real person who I was, it was due to circumstances and just life’s progression in general. Which once again, had me reflecting about the only thing I can control is my reactions to other’s actions. I’m pretty sure I have said that here before. It was a very “back and forth” argument with myself that, others do not worry about their reactions so why should I worry about how they feel when I react. Because…..I am the one being left upset, so my reactions matter to me and to my health. So then we are left with… ok, how do I control my reactions and go on from there without constantly coming back to this circle of anger.
How do you become “ok” with having things constantly dumped on you for you to finish or people saying whatever they want and then getting upset because you don’t like their actions, how do you move forward from there with the constant vile that comes up in your throat when you hear their voices? Then I realized, I am trying to find out how do you forgive. I had always thought I was a forgiving person, but if I was forgiving, I wouldn’t be asking how to move forward, I would just be able to do so. So may be is there a correlation to forgiveness and how I physically feel. Do I need to feel better health wise my own self to help my mental emotions? Hmmm, certainly a worthwhile question.
Forgiving and moving on from the circle of anger will help my own attitude and will decrease stress and torment in my own mental atmosphere, so you would think it would be as easy as saying ok for my health I will do just that. Or is it resolving things where you will find forgiveness, because a lot of times the person just keeps doing the same thing over and over again, then does the onis lie with me to move on and forgive with out resolution? UGH WHY BRAIN WHY??????
Our health and mental attitudes towards our life can certainly be a conundrum for Socrates himself. Philosophers from centuries ago have asked these same questions and here we are, still trying to find ways to help our mental anguish. How many books and articles are there out there on these questions, and here again is another one. I certainly don’t have the cure but I do know in my heart what I have to do to get out of my rut, and the only one who can do it is, me.
For my own troubles I know that I have to eat right and take my vitamins, that’s my first step. Then I have to stop always trying to please others and please the ones who appreciate what I do. We all have those who do appreciate the large and small things we do and we need to focus there, because if others are constantly wearing you down they are going to keep wearing you down. There is no other “best” way to know someone’s future behavior, then by their past behavior. Yes, yes, people can change but have the ones in your life tried when you have told them you are hurt, that is what you have to ask yourself.
Then, I need to do something for me, which could just be as simple as a walk in the park, or a moment to myself. Exercise is a great stress buster. It helps to ignite endorphins, dopamine and serotonin that we need for those “feel good feelings” to come back. As hard as it is sometimes to get our butts up and do something for ourselves like exercise, the person who will benefit will be you.
Exercise will increase your energy with time, and with the increased energy, the increase in the feel good hormones will help to pull us up out of the pit of despair we sometimes fall in. Then find that friend that makes you laugh and do just that. Laugh, have a coffee and talk, be social. I find we need to wrap ourselves in positivity as hard as that seems when you are down, it needs to be done. Negativity breads negativity and positivity breads positivity. You need to decide which team you are on. Positive experiences will increase your mood. Read a funny book, read the comics, watch a funny movie or surf some funny cat videos, find something or someone who is FUNNY!!!!
You will remain negative if you keep wallowing in the pity. So I’m not sure if it is forgiving to move on or if it is moving on that helps us to forgive. Don’t look at forgiving as letting others off the hook, forgiving is letting your own self off the hook of negativity. I do know by eating well, drinking water, bringing something positive into view, whether it be friends, loved ones, cherished pets, feel good movies, books or something funny to make us laugh, they are the the initial steps we need to move past whatever was bothering us in the first place. Sometimes when a really good happy “thing” has happened, it can help us to reflect on “why in the world was I so bent out of shape,” there are more things to be happy about then not.
We ourselves, our thoughts, are our biggest cheerleaders and our worst enemies. It is up to us to decide where we want to be, on the happy positive side or on the side that makes us feel overwhelmed in a bad way. Sometimes we need extra help because lets not forget diminishing feelings can be attributed to chemical imbalances as well, and as hard as we try we need a helping boost. That’s where we can choose to go to our doctor, whether it be western medicine or holistic medicine, or a combination, the choice is yours. If you choose western and you find help and start to feel better, maybe as you feel more energy and more positive, then you can try to also incorporate other vitamins and holistic remedies to get you on the same positive road, reducing medications. Sometimes we need that first initial big boost that we no doubt get from our Western doctors, then we can look to our natural remedies to replenish what we were low in from the start.
Some holistic sources are: St. John’s Wort, Valerian, Chamomile, Lavender, L-Theanine, also found in green tea, but you will need quite a few cups compared to a supplement. You can also introduce Vit B Complex with Vit C and Folic Acid, Vit C, Vit D, Omega 3 and or Magnesium Citrate.
St. John’s Wort and Valerian are great remedies for mild or even more severe depression, anxiety or mental anguish in general. They both help calm your nervous system helping you to become in a more relaxed calm state.
L-Theanine is an amino acid found in green tea, which helps to lower heart rate and blood pressure resulting in a less agitated state. One would need at a range of 5-20 or more cups to get what one supplement would do, and the supplement would not have the added caffeine, if your not a decaf drinker. So drinking your L-theanine could be counter productive by making you a bit jittery with 20 cups of green tea…just sayin’, in this case the supplement seems the best route.
Chamomile and Lavender are also great stress reducing options. Whether in tea or in an oil, for on the skin or in a diffuser.
A regular, daily regiment of Vit B complex,(100-300mg) Vit C (500-1500mg) and Vit D(1000-2000iu), Omega 3 1000-2000mg) and or Magnesium Citrate (150-600mg) would be a wonderful addition to any ailment, but especially to mental illness and stress. These powerhouse vitamins and mineral are proven to help brain, heart, respiratory illness, digestive illness, IBS and cognitive illnesses. These vitamins are a no brainer when choosing an holistic approach.
With allllllll health issues, always consult a physician, but as well realize not all physicians are educated in nutritional supplements, so be sure to have an open discussion about how you feel and what you are considering adding to help your quality of life.
If your stressors aim you in the more severe category of mental anguish please, please, please, talk to someone especially a trained counselor, therapist, doctor or psychiatrist. Keep communicating with a human who can help you. Many courses of treatment are about communicating and talking to someone, getting your feelings out and feeling heard, it does not always have to be down the road of a prescription. If it is, then follow the advise of your physician, these medications are meant to help and they must be taken properly and not stopped because you feel like they are not working.
IMPORTANT!!!
Psychotropic medication, (antidepressants, anti anxiety, antipsychotics and stimulants) have a period of time where they need to build up in your system, as many medications, vitamins and minerals need to do, it is called the saturation point. Once you have sufficient build up in your tissues then you will find results. That could be different times for different people. It depends on how often we pee or use the washroom, along with absorption of the foods we eat and medicines we take, as well as our body shape and size. So please talk about these things with your doctor or counseling subscriber before you toss a remedy away due to not feeling any effects yet. It may have not have been a sufficient amount of time for your body to have reached its saturation point.
So I’m not sure how many different tangents I just went on or if we actually have avenues to forgive and move on. But I do think we have great steps started to getting us on the road to a better quality of life. Hug someone or something, wrap up in a warm blanket with a cup of tea, or go for a walk or a run if you like, find that quiet place to calm your thoughts for a bit, watch or read that funny show or book, find a self help book, COMMUNICATE, talk to someone, find what you need to get you back in the game.
You are important and this world needs you.
Happy Healing!!!